“You have to redefine what ‘doing something fun’ is for the Groves in Oregon,” texts my friend from the Northwest who currently loathes the Hawaii winter. I remember feeling suffocated at times, when the forecast for February was in the seventies. We’d pile into our VW bus in bathing suits and sunscreen and head for North Shore, sipping iced coffee the long way around the island.
Always on a Monday. Always exactly what we needed.
……………………………..
You’re fighting me…
The rain splashes window glass in the Upper Room overlooking downtown Salem.
My eyes widen and I know the Father is speaking.
I have been fighting.
Imaging when we’ll go back, questioning the Sovereignty of God, wondering in my heart if this is what obedience looks like.
If this is obedience, shouldn’t we all be happy? The guilt for not living close to my family and for leaving dearest friends runs thick in the blood and pulses my veins so that obedience is nothing more than another series of questions and doubts.
You’re fighting me…
And suddenly it is very clear. Acting in obedience by packing boxes and shipping them overseas is one thing. Being present where I’ve been called is another. Allowing myself to rest and be here… this is what the Father asks.
………………………….
The rain is flooding and it’s his day off and he wants to do something fun. So we pile into our white van in rain coats and layers and drive to Portland, stopping at Starbucks for the hot drink and the iced one, because some things will never change. We drive through downtown and eat lunch at a McMenamin’s venue, one of our favorites. After cajun tots and warm food fill our bellies we head to OMSI, a science museum with fantastic exhibits for wee ones and old ones. For hours, we play.
At home we lounge in the living room, playing games with toddlers and snacking on potstickers. I remember a familiar scene, 2500 miles away in a smaller room with a big window. The air is warm and our feet are bare. The faces are the same.
This is us. I still have them. We wrestle and play games and make food and watch Friends and Disney movies and go on excursions and read books and drink coffee.
And the One who is Love lets me see it so that peace trickles in and I know it’s going to be ok. My white flag is offered to the One who Sends and for the first time, I begin to feel at home with our calling.
