Driving home from Bako today got me thinking. I popped in my David Crowder “Illuminate” CD and the lyrics of the songs reminded me of where my focus needs to be. First it was a blatant realization of where my focus had been… and that in and of itself has been a process. Oh I am a selfish person. My desire for control, my self-focus, my worry, my insecurities, my fears… all derive from the fact that my focus was not central to God and who He is and how He is to be praised.
At first this realization (conviction actually) got me really frustrated with myself and doubtful that I would be able to get out of it… And yet, who is it that we say God is? Redeemer. Forgiver. Lover. Savior. Sovereign. Holy, Holy, Holy. Almighty God. Wonderful. Prince of Peace. So I chose to accept the freedom and grace through Jesus (once again because I so often forget it or choose not to believe it) and regained (only by the grace of God) a new perspective of life. “It’s just me and You, God.”
So often I forget who I am really living for. But pretty much… it’s gotta be God or it’s worthless and my life leads into this confusing whirlwind of lies and frustration. How easy I get caught up in it all. It’s a constant struggle and a constant joy to daily surrender and allow my Lord to be my focus, to be my heart, to be my purpose, and to be my love. My hope lies in Him, and in His victory. Blessed be His Name.
May it be so