Agonizing in the Garden

I’m reading Mark 14 right now. My heart is heavy when I think about Jesus’ suffering. His plea that the cup would be taken from Him… yet not His will but the Father’s… is an example of faith and love that I can’t even fathom. What grace that He did it so that we might be free and abundant in our life. I’m in a state of awe and amazement of our Savior’s love and obedience to the Father. The Passion.

Last night I went to Quest, and I swear I’ve never had a sermon speak so directly toward me in my exact circumstances as last night. For the past two quarters, through my Scripture reading and Oswald, I have been presented with the idea of asking God for what we need, desire, etc. And I’ll be honest… it freaks me out sometimes to think that I might ask God for something. I know how small my mind is and how much greater the Father is, and so I would prefer to just generalize my prayers toward His will without getting specific. The root of this concern? Fear. I am so afraid of my request not being granted or of it being shallow or insignificant that I’d rather not ask. Yet over and over again for the last 15 weeks or so, it has been on my heart to ask for something very specific. Just as I was finally realizing I might be able to start asking for it, doubt came in like a flood and I was ready to call it quits. Literally, yesterday I told God I was over it, that it didn’t make sense, and that it was a stupid request. Toward the end of my tantrum I asked that Lord that if it be His will that I continue with this request, would he give me something to hold on to just another day so that I might continue to ask. Well ok. So He gave me the entire sermon at Quest. I have no more excuses. Do you know what Rhett started out with last night? “I just want to ask you: what is it that you need to ask for from God?” The entire sermon was on Matt. 7:7-11. Ask, seek, knock…

While I was reading this morning I was overwhelmed with Jesus’ prayer request, and knowing that it was denied… yet to the Father’s glory it was denied. And to the Father’s glory our requests may be fulfilled or denied. Praise God for His infinant wisdom, and for His grace that we might ask things of Him… and we may ask boldly. Because of the passion, we are free to approach the throne of the most High God with absolute boldness. Praise be to God.


3 Replies to “Agonizing in the Garden”

  1. I met the most real deal cowboy today, it was AMAZING. all I could say was that one time I went to a round up..member with the waldons? And I tried to make a joke about rocky mountain oysters… was bad. Anyways, 20 dollar tip on 12 dolla meal. COWBOY TAKE ME AWAY!–I hope the blending was fun today! love you-Cait

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