Just me.

Not sure what to post because I’m tired of just the itinerary version of my entries. I know that being out of the country and pretty much out of contact with most of you means a lot of updating and describing my adventures. There’s so much to tell, and yet I easily get caught up in the “we did this and then we did that and it was really cool…” Yet what does that say about my heart? How am I doing aside from the day to day tourist stuff? What am I enjoying and what do I not like? Where is God in my writing and how has my time here been influenced by His purpose and will for me? So here’s a piece of my heart right now, along with some of my favorite things to do in Prague…

If I’m not writing and if I’m not daily in the Word then my life becomes dry and my walk is stagnant. Suddenly I’m not aware of my purpose and the Spiritual revival I had hoped for is nonexistant. I get swamped with insecurities and doubts and frustrations to the point where I’m not sure how to pray even. Might seem drastic to you, but that’s just how badly I need Jesus to feed me each day… without Him and His nourishment I am starved and the joy of living is sucked out of me. Sooo this is no way to live. Finally, after a few days of spiritual exhaustion because I hadn’t been in the Word, I got the time I had been craving. Yesterday I wandered around Prague for a while by myself and, though I had no idea I was headed there, I wound up by my fav. coffee shop to sit and read. I was reading Brennan Manning’s Wisdom of Tenderness (p.s. Manning is one of my favorite authors and if you haven’t read him you should) and flipped open the last few chapters. Almost instantly I was brought to tears (doesn’t happen all that often to me…) by the truth that I so was so desperately yearning for. The previous night, in desperation for purpose and direction and words from God, I prayed that God would just reveal truth to me. I didn’t care if it was hard or easy to hear, I just wanted truth and Jesus. Yeah God’s pretty good at responding to that, and as I read my book Jesus spoke and I broke. Finally. My stubborn shell cracked and I got to be embraced by my Savior and experience redemption as the cross calls us to. So needless to say, I sat in a coffeeshop in a foreign country and bawled while I sipped my iced mocha (or the European version of it) and ate my honey pie.

After my time in the coffee shop, I roamed around a little more and went to three parks before I found the bench I was looking for. I layed down and read a little bit of Jane Eyre (which I’m loving) and enjoyed the gardens and statues surrounding me. My eyes got tired so I changed locations and decided to switch to writing. This time I went to a grassy orchard (imagine Apple Orchard at Calvin Crest times 5 in size) overlooking the city of Prague. I sat on the grass and wrote about experiences and faith and things God’s done in me the past year for about an hour. Ahh it was so great. I’ve learned to really enjoy writing and experimenting with different writing styles. Needless to say, it was amazing and I was able to experience the presence of God and be affirmed of His call and His sovereignty in my life. A much needed answer to prayer.

So here I am, and you now know a bit about where I am (though the nature of this blog limits depth… maybe more later, but for now that is all I will say). Here is what I love to do in Prague: walk around, sit in coffee shops and explore new ones, read and write in parks, speak to the strangers in my limited Czech as I walk by them on the streets (though they don’t like to talk back much), eat ice cream, pray, listen to music and smile, have very deep and diverse conversations with Teddy (which happens a lot and I am so blessed that we both cherish those moments), learn about my self while talking to Teddy, and learn how to serve God and others in the mainstream of life… a slowpace life that I’m enjoying. Honestly I could sit in a park all day and read and write and be perfectly content with the day. Never in my life will I have the luxary of doing so without other obligations- so I’m living it up while I can. Don’t worry, if you’ve been reading my bog you know that that’s not all I’ve been doing, and in fact have yet a day to do so… I’ve been diligent in experiencing the city and exploring… but Prague is only so big, and the list of things to experience and do grows smaller.

Today Teddy and I went to the Jewish Quarters of town and had a cool history lesson on the Jewish faith as we explored the Old/New Synagogue and looked at the cemetary. I took a European Death and Dying class this past quarter and a European Jewry class the previous quarter. I love it when I get to see and experience things I learned about in class. yay for education! With that said, I will now go learn more about Czech history in the town that best represents Czech. Surreal.

(p.s. I still speak Spanish all the time here even though it’s absolutely unnecessary. “No se,” “a la direcha,” “gracias,” “por que,” “por favor,” and “si” quite frequently come out of my mouth – even when speaking to a Czech person. Yeah, ummm cuz that makes a ton of sense)


2 Replies to “Just me.”

  1. I read ‘Ragamuffin Gospel’ last semester and really enjoyed it. A Manning book. I am glad to hear that you had a bit of time to be filled. It must be nice to have a friend over there to explore the town with. Keep reading and diving deeper into life. Peace.

  2. Wow, you amaze me girlie!! So are you now speaking spzechish. I think that is your own language a combo of spanish, czech and english. I miss you and just live through him this summer he is going to take you on an amzing journey even through the down points. talk to you soon and I visited novel cafe the other day thought of you ~ Heather

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