It’s never hit me this early. Normally it takes until 7th week for me to finally crack, but not this quarter. It’s 5th week and I am an inch away from breaking. Perhaps it is the impending reality of midterms, insane papers, reading that I will never touch, commitments that keep me in grace but also busy, relationships and friendships that I thrive from and that keep me real, a room that is in dire need of cleaning, dishes piled up in the sink (my own), money that is slipping from my hands faster than I realize, and perhaps the most frustrating… God time. Who is this God I call my King and why have I stopped allowing Him to ordain my time? All I can muster as of late is a quick prayer acknowledging my weakness and asking for mercy. What am I learning in the Word? I get glimpses of God for sure, but the meat of my faith has become milk for my infant soul. And yet my disappointment in my lack of time management, good stewardship, and inability to actually take care of myself… only takes me further from the place I ought to be. The answer is not to run, not to hide, but to face it head on… as one going into battle. How badly I wanted to miss class this morning, but the call of my Lord that truthfully said “go to class daughter” told me where I need to be… and I know I need to fight. Part of the fight involves discipline, but most of my strength and armor will come while I’m on my knees and in the Word. My mind is fragile and my heart is even more so fragile… and I’ve been damn good at hiding it lately. So now I’m about ready to crack. I’m spread thin… so thin that I feel like an eggshell, and I can no longer function properly. Now that you’re all worried about me, just pray. Cait is right. I love Jesus and He is my King. I will find rest and I will seek peace.