Life and The Princess

Lately I’m reminded that life is funny sometimes. It doesn’t happen how you would expect. I’m not sure what I expected, but what is happening I didn’t think would. I guess I’m sort of thinking about summer plans and how I don’t have any yet, fall plans and how I’m unsure of those too, future plans and how I always thought they’d be significant and purposeful and profound and they might not be, current life and how I’m constantly a stress case and I hate work (there I said it. I’m quitting soon); I’m not sure how in the world I am going to finish my last two quarters succcessfully, let alone write the paper that is due tomorrow on Alfred Tennyson’s “The Princess”… Sometimes it’s just all too confusing to me. There are many complex things complicating life. Busyness. Too busy but can’t cut anything out. Maybe that’s why I’ve been sick with the flu since Wednesday and am bed ridden even now. Desperate for a break but the only way I rest is when I’m sick – yet that’s not even rest because all I do is lay in bed and think about how behind I am in school (which instantly makes my body physically stressed). The quarter system was not made for the flu. End of story. And yet for some reason, my little mind likes to think on overload and determine to itself that school and grades determine my worth as a person (a common misconception and lie believed by many of my peers here at UCLA) and will determine my success or lack thereof in the future. What?! Where is this all coming from? Yet right now I am laying in my bed, frantically thinking of different options for future vocation/schooling/living situations/etc. Just write the paper. That is all I can do right now. Write about how gender roles are drastically altered in “The Princess” and the silly little prince faints several times when he sees the princess. Stimulating piece of poetry to be sure, I’m just not all that into it right now. And I’ll stop rambling with awkwardly sructured sentences that genuinely reflect the fragments running through my mind at this moment…

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3 thoughts on “Life and The Princess

  1. Liz says:

    Annie,
    “yet for some reason, my little mind likes to think on overload and determine to itself that school and grades determine my worth as a person (a common misconception and lie believed by many of my peers here at UCLA) and will determine my success or lack thereof in the future.”

    you have no idea how much that resonates with me. As if God’s ability to use me is determined by my grades. as if who I am as a person is defined by a letter.

  2. rise up says:

    Annie,
    For what it is worth, remember this-
    don’t worry about tomorrow, just live the best you can today.
    I struggle a lot in worrying about the future as well. But it really isn’t worth it, we don’t even know what tomorrow holds, or how much longer we will be on this earth, so live each day to your best, and as if it could b e your last.

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