Because I haven’t written in awhile

It seems as if this time of the quarter always sneaks up on me. The first five weeks cruise on by with perhaps a paper or two, some quizzes, and reading… but all of a sudden I find myself running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Exam dates are approaching, papers are due, five more weeks of madness will ensue and then it will be all over. All over. Done. College as I know it will be finished. Of course more school is to follow so it isn’t like my role as a student is over – not at all. But it will be different… grad school/seminary will be different I think. There are more responsibilities, more tailored studies, and college life will suddenly grow up. I can’t wait… it’s funny, I am sitting in Novel trying to write a stupid midterm that is haunting me because the reading for it is SOOO boring and yet I’m still excited that my life consists of reading and writing and attending classes and living a schedule full of bizarre hours. Wierd.

This is such a time where it seems like college age students are either still freaking out because they “don’t know what they want to do with the rest of their lives” or are finally realizing the direction they want to pursue for the moment and are at peace with the fact that the next step is merely that – the next step. We get this notion in our head that we need to know exactly what our calling in life is, or how we’re going to spend the rest of our lives locked in some career job wearing three piece suits and carrying a briefcase everymorning. We’re 21 or 22 with the whole world ahead of us and the idea of being completely on our own (which is our perception) terrifies us, stiffling the dreams we dreamt in the first three years of college about changing the world and traveling and spending hours in coffee shops talking about whatever it is we talk about in coffee shops. I wonder what would happen if we slowed down for a second, forgot that we are still extremely young with endless options and really pursued our wildest dreams… Yes I guess I still am a dreamer. Call me an idealist or unrealistic or whatever, but I have to believe we’re given this drive for changing the world and going crazy places for a reason. What would happen if we surrendered those dreams to God and then trusted Him with it… Oh the places we’d go…

I’m there. Pursuing something that grabbed a hold of my dreams about 6 years ago… Ready to take on the world… I love this.


3 Replies to “Because I haven’t written in awhile”

  1. Annie,
    Great to hear some of your thoughts. Right now, I am in the middle of finals, and will be finished tomorrow. Then a week from this Saturday, Gabe Knox and I will be going to Kenya for the summer to be counselors at a Christian camp there.
    I definately can relate to the crazy future, and worrying about it. This past year, a co-worker of mine put it pretty well (granted a few more years for you and I) as the quarter life crisis. Where we feel a huge pressure to get a job, and find the ‘perfect’ relationship, and prove that we can and will be successful as adults. However, a large part of me has always been a dreamer as well, in fact on a personality test I took for an intro to psych class, I was labeled a ‘teacher idealist’. So, dream big, Christ will be there, and you have a great life ahead of you. Don’t be bogged down by the daunting future, for Christ did tell us to worry about today, for we don’t know what tomorrow brings.

  2. oh man. it’s funny. i’m done. i mean for now at least. school is over. i got my diploma in the mail today. i’m on my own completely. i work 8-5 everyday and have to be “professional”. i didn’t dream as much as i wish i had, but i do enjoy this. i miss my life as a student…. it’s wierd how we grow up. i was in a hurry to grow up this past year…. i wish i would have slowed down instead. God is faithful though…. keep dreaming friend. keep being crazy and live it up.

  3. Annie,
    My dear friend. As school comes to end and we come to realize how or what we are suppose to do you realize that what is ahead is scary in a sense. I see all of the people close to me either going after their dreams or supporting those who are truly going after their dreams. When it comes down to it people will always being living out their dreams in a way. I mean look at me. My dream was not to have a job like I have but it was to get married. I have to suffer through some stuff to enjoy other dreams. Enjoy your last few weeks of school.

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