I didn’t know when I’d write this post, only that it would eventually come.

I initiated the weaning process shortly after Ellie turned 13 months old, though technically it began at 11 months when I dropped her to three feedings a day because she no longer seemed interested in the afternoon nurse.

The decision to wean came shortly after I discovered I was pregnant and was so nauseous that the entire experience became quite unpleasant. I know many people have different thoughts and opinions on breastfeeding and weaning, and that’s fine. Some of you will think I weaned too early. Others will think I’m a crazy lady who nursed too long.

I know it was right for us.

Though I initiated the weaning process, Ellie completed it. I saved the morning nurse for last, because we absolutely ADORE the morning nurse. I figured eventually I would just have JD get her out of bed and take her into the living room for a sippy cup of milk and that would be the beginning of the end.

Little did I know that yesterday was most likely our last nursing session.

Usually the very first thing Ellie asks for in the morning is “nilk!” as she signs and urgently demands to nurse. This morning she asked for Rowdy. Curious, I sat her down next to Rowdy and she proceeded to play by Rowdy and then wander into the living room for her toys. I went to the bedroom to change, figuring she would come in any moment asking for “nilk.” Seconds later, she was in our room with a toy car. I was in mid-change, which is usually a sure bet for a frantic “nilk! nilk!” but instead, she just held up the toy car and said “ca!” So I made vrooom vrooom noises and she left the room satisfied.

And that was it.

JD fed her breakfast while I finished getting ready, thinking of how significant this moment was, and while I’ve been ready for it, I’m still somewhat saddened that it’s over. It doesn’t matter that a new little love will be placed in my arms in about six months, because that little one isn’t El. I will of course be grateful for another opportunity to nurse, and we will bond in our own special way, but El and I sure had a great experience together…

El who wouldn’t take a bottle and refused formula. El who signed “thank you!” after nursing without prompt from me. El who often stood up mid-nurse, still latched on. El who would pause and smile at me while we cuddled…

So El, when you read this, thank you. Thank you for 14.5 wonderful months of nursing. I know this is a first of many “weanings” in your life, and I am confident you are ready. I love you more than words can express. – Mommy.



3 Replies to “Weaned.”

  1. I’m with you, Annie–I know it’s a hard process. We too loved our morning cuddles. It’s so much fun to see them grow and change, but it does make you miss when they were tiny and a little more dependent. What I have found through the process–Ava is just as attached to me now as she was when we were nursing, perhaps even more so. The cuddles have increased, and she still loves to cuddle in the morning. I’m sure El will find new ways to show her love for you. Through her first 14.5 months, you provided so much security and love for her–it’s the foundation for a beautiful mother-daughter relationship. Love you two. Hope you’re adjusting well to all the change.

  2. *tear* Being that I’m not a mother yet, I didn’t think that this blog entry would be so touching. And yet here I am about near tears… it was the part where you wrote about El signing “Thank you” without prompting that just about did it for me. Awww! I am moved by the love you have for your precious El.

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