This happened today:
I reached a boiling point. I am normally tolerable of the car seat screamer. There is absolutely nothing I can do while driving the car, and so I tune it out until there is a viable solution. Today, after a few nights in a row of only 3-4 hour stretches of sleep at night, and after another battle over nap time, I finally broke.
Claire and I cried as we drove home from our an appointment in Kaneohe. Pulling into the parking lot at home, Claire continued to scream and I continued to sob. She calmed seconds after getting her out, but my own tears were less eager to cease. We walked into the cottage. JD took one look at me and grabbed Claire while Ellie hugged my knees. I sat down on the couch, still blubbering about who knows what when Ellie walked over to me with a crumpled napkin.
I don’t know what the napkin was used for. But because of what happened next, it could have been used to wipe snot for all I care.
She came over and sat next to me on the couch and began to wipe my tears with her crumpled napkin. Her small fist tightly held the precious napkin and she methodically dried my eyes. My daughter lavished her love on me as makeup smeared across my face with each stroke. What it did for my soul I lack the words to express, but I swear I saw Jesus in her.
Because love like that is no joke. And hours of the football hold, shushing & patting, rocking, nursing, sleepless nights, and frantic days? All worth it.