I *seriously* have had no time to write. And even now my little nest needs a visit from the FlyLady, but I’m allowing myself a few hours to work on the girl/mommy blog, shop for headbands on Etsy, and just not do anything. JD’s reading Mark Twain and the girls are fast asleep.
God is doing something in our hearts. There is a stirring, and I can’t yet put my finger on it. Because of the way my brain operates, I am nonstop thinking about this stirring and what it means and why and how and if and ????? See what I mean? I asked JD about his brain – his thoughts about this stirring. Apparently his brain operates quite differently from mine. Like… he really is capable of not thinking ALL. OF. THE. TIME. about EVERYTHING.
HOW in the ?!?!?!
But this is me and this is what I know right now:
Something happened at Wyldlife camp last week that gave me a second wind for youth ministry. And what I mean by second wind is that my first “wind,” probably occurred about 8 years ago when I first felt that tugging toward full time ministry. It’s a “lean-into-it-and-you-won’t-fall-over” sort of wind… like the kind that happens on the Pali lookout sometimes, literally you can push all of your weight forward and lean into the wind without falling over.
And this is significant because I didn’t know why I was there in the first place. Because we brought the babies, I was put in my own room in a separate building with the two girls in a house full of strangers. With thin walls. With babies. Babies who wake up throughout the night and throw tantrums in the day. Babies who sometimes require a double stroller that is as easy to push through sand as it is run in water. On the first day, when it finally hit me in the head that I wouldn’t be the “counselor type” that I normally am, I got incredibly discouraged. No pillow talk, no leading cabin discussions… just hanging out at meals, free time (except at nap time), and watching games/ropes courses. I couldn’t even stay during the whole speaker message because it was past the girls’ bedtimes and an overtired toddler does not belong in a room full of jr. high students hearing the Gospel for the first or even fiftieth time.
I told JD I should just go home.
But something happened as I was locked in my little room with sleeping girls, my Bible, and journal and nothing else.
And something happened as I watched my husband giddy-faced hang out with middle school boys at the lunch table.
Something was divine about that one-on-one I had with one of the girls, and it was nothing short of significant to be surrounded by people who passionately prayed for the lives of teenagers.
Stir, stir, stir…
There is nothing but time to see what this stirring leads to… so for now I’m enjoying the second wind from the Holy Spirit – encountering my job with fresh eyes and an excitement to see teens transformed by the Good News that they are loved by a Holy God who wants to save their lives through Jesus.