Two nights ago I got one hour of sleep. One. Whole. Hour. Of sleep. You know that thing that is juuust starting to maybe escape you a bit? Yes. The coveted sleep…
And just now I changed two disturbingly full diapers. One from each kid. Poo, poo, and more poo.
I haven’t slept a solid night’s sleep in a year, and even then I got maybe a whole month of it. Our laundry pile never seems to shrink, and my ears are still ringing from the other night’s scream fest.
But you know what? Even with all that in mind, I am SO gosh darn excited for you. Because you are entering one of the most profound seasons of life you will know thus far – chock full of LOVE, endurance, patience you never knew existed, joy that is so FULL you just want to burst, and constant laughter.
I was scared too. My first reaction to the news of pregnancy – both times, actually – is a little too naughty for this website. And the very first time I looked at that plus sign and showed it to my husband, I felt every emotion under the sun and just started bawling. Because, I too didn’t feel ready to be a mom. There were so many other trips, experiences, and YEARS I hoped to live before babies entered the picture. Not to mention the fact that EVEN THOUGH I secretly hoped to get pregnant, I hadn’t the slightest inkling what it meant to have a child and the reality of the plus sign knocked me off my feet for a bit.
But when I recovered, when my tummy grew and we saw the little peanut on the sonogram, and when I stopped throwing up every day (oh wait, that didn’t happen for 20 weeks the first time), I started to realize that magic was taking place. Bit by bit, as fingernails, tiny toes, and practicing lungs developed, God readied me for the adventure I now love and know as motherhood.
And honestly? Despite the night we just had, and the diapers that never. stop. dirtying… I want a bunch more. Well – maybe two more… but that’s a bunch right? Because being a mom is that cool.
It’s thrilling to buy those maternity clothes, watch the wretched birthing videos, eat Taco Bell until it’s coming out your ears and eventually hold that little bitty that is right now causing all kinds of crazy things to take place in your body. That control you feel you’re losing (you’ll experience this at one point or another)? I’ve learned that’s God’s design. Cuz, girl… you have little control over what’s about to happen. You can choose the birthing method you prefer and hope it happens, and you can choose the parenting model that seems to suit you and hope it works for your baby, and you can plan how you will discipline and hope your toddler responds, but honestly – there is a raw little package forming… and God has designed this little one’s place in your life to sanctify you and bring Him glory… I don’t know why God allows some people to get pregnant the first time and others to experience miscarriages, stillbirth, and infertility. But I do know that God is a good God and whatever befalls us is meant to bring Him glory. Parenting is one giant, messy, exhilarating gift from God that he has chosen for you to experience at this time.
So soak it up! Eat cheese fries and drink sparkling water. Meander into that baby clothes section and dream of the little sir or ma’am that’s about to wear the ittiest piece of clothing you’ve ever seen. Enjoy the new relationships you’ll build JUST because you’re pregnant. Read the exciting stuff and skip the horror stories. Stand up a little straighter cause you’re a mama now – and that in and of itself lends itself to super human powers you never knew you had.
God really has equipped you for this journey and you’re perfect for the job.
Ooooh just writing this makes me want to experience it all over again.
In like, three years. 😉
Love you. Can’t wait to see how God transforms you (tummy to heart) in the next nine plus months…
P.S. – I hear March 18th is a good day to have a baby